Craving You

March 5, 2016

Sometimes you just meet a person and you just click. You’re comfortable with them and you don’t have to pretend to be anyone or anything. You’re that click.
The best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.
You are the only person that can keep me sane in this horrible, horrible world we live in.
I crave your lips against mines everyday when we are apart. I crave every inch of your body twenty four seven.
I am attracted to the idea of your lips exploring my body as if it were a map. 
I go insane when we’re apart.

“Stop hurting yourself over him. What is it going to do for you? It’s not going to actually help you when it seems like it. It’s just giving you a reminder for every, not so smart reason.”

Once you start, you can’t stop. It helps at that moment. All the pain getting released. making your body go numb.
Giving me a reminder of what hurt me so bad, I had to physically hurt myself. Not so smart, but a good reminder.
I’m not myself anymore. I’m depressed. and I’m very suicidal at the moment. I can go at any minute, but I choose not to. People out there do love me. I just don’t want to believe that they do at all. To me, no one loves me like I love you.
There’s nights where I cry so hard that my body aches and I shake and I have to bury my face into a pillow, so no one hears me.
there are also nights when i’m happy that you’re happy and i think everything happens for a reason.
There are nights where I feel nothing at all, but there is never a night that you don’t cross my mind.
I’m so lonely and all I want is for your two arms to hold me and make me feel at home.
Looking at you was like, realizing everything that I ever wanted was right in front of me the whole damn time.
You’re a fucking work of art and I’m the complete opposite. I am a mess and in a world like this, I can’t believe someone like you would want someone like me.
It all makes me wonder if this is some kind of twisted joke. But darling, I hope it’s not because you make my skies shine.
You wanting to just be friends now, kills me. It could’ve been half a year in ten days. March fifteenth would’ve been a happy day for us, but now I’m dreading it.
“This isn’t that bad. okay, I can do this”, you said.
Being only your friend is killing me slowly inside. I can’t just be your friend. We did so much.
What will happen if you find another girl?
You’re going to be more focused on her. Then you’ll leave me like I was nothing to you.
She would be your everything like I was to you before. But you’ll be happy, so i’ll force myself to be happy, too.
What if I can’t ever forget you?
You mean so much to me and I’m not happy without you. If you can’t believe me, I don’t know what else to do anymore.
My life won’t be worth living anymore.
I can’t keep promises. I can’t control myself anymore. I have gone insane already without you and it’s only been one day.
Don’t paint me black, when I used to be golden



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