I’m Sorry

I’m so sorry that I led you into my life. You were so nice and loving to me. I’ll never forget the days where we sat on my couch and watched season two of The Flash. I’ll never forget the awkward double dates we had with our friends. I’ll never forget our Pokemon adventure in Forest Park with the snowcones and taco truck. IBut most of all, I’ll never forget the time you surprised me with icecream through my window when I was sad. You were the one that made me happy. For the only two weeks that we were together, it was honestly a blast. I was so scared to get into a relationship with someone new. I guess I only went back because it was someone familiar that i had a past with. 

I was stupid enough to leave someone good in my life, for an ex. I chose an ex boyfriend over the current boy I was talking to. Why? Why would I do that to myself? He was willing to give a girl, that was four years younger than him, a chance. My dumbass screwed it up. I was scared to get into a relationship with him because I didn’t want to drag him into the mess that I created to myself. I was so into him though. But the ex showed back up right when I started to get happy againSo, I had to end it. I can’t chase after a guy if I’m still in love with another. I guess it was for the best honestly. But it hurts so much because I think about it still from this day. Note that this happened in the summer of twenty sixteen. It’s now the summer of twenty seventeen. It still fucks me up til this day. I don’t understand why I left such a perfect dude for a shitty ass person. 

We gave it another try in the winter of swenty sixteen. I really tried this time. But you ended it shortly after. I dont know what I did. I’m glad that we were able to get a second chance. Going to Piology and Ted Drewes with you was a blast. We never got time to hang out since we both had school and finals going on. I’m glad that we kept our relationship between us and a few close friends though. It’s good that no one knows about this 

Even though I’m writing about it, no one will find out out who I’m talking about. You don’t even read my posts so it won’t matter. 

“i know i might be an ass for this, but im just gonna text you. i know you have feelings for me or stuff of that nature, but i hate to tell you this. i don’t see us being together in the future or ever. i want to be able to find the right girl for me. i just don’t see us being together, like we’re not meant for each other. i hope you don’t get this the wrong way or anything. i like you, it’s just i have too many things to focus on. i want to find the one for me, and i hope you find the right guy. its just that guy isn’t me. im sorry that im telling this you over text, but i couldn’t wait any longer or do it in person.”

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