its been so long since ive been so down on myself lately. i dont know what going on. its probably just one of those weeks, but im on vacation. i should be happy. im done faking everything. i actually lost a few friends. well, we drifted apart from each other i guess. i mean, i drifted apart from many people. no ones ever here for me anymore, but im always there for them. people hit me up when they need something. i dont know what to do. i lost so many people in my life already. its to the point where i question if the friends i have right now are actually here for me. man, its been a while since ive been writing. i guess ive just been bottling everything up from everyone. its funny because id rather tell you guys, strangers on the internet, my feelings, instead of the people closest to me. but to be honest, im not close with anyone anymore. i have no one i call my family besides my actual blood. everyone leaves, no ones permanent.