Why do I always go back to you. You hurt me so much throughout our relationship we had together. I mean, I hurt you too. Once. only once. Maybe twice. But you hurt me several fucking times. So why do I always find my way back to you? Please tell me because I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I hate that I fucking love you because I need to stop these feelings I still have for you. You’re on my mind every single day and every single hour. The thoughts of you need to stop because I lose focus on the important things in my life.
How are you? I bet you’re doing just fine without me. I mean, you seem fine. But are you really? Are you happier without me? You look alright to me when I pass you in the halls. If you are happy, that’s good. You’re moving on with your life, something I can’t do. Good job to you.
To be honest, what the fuck happened to us? We were just fine. Fine, not okay, but fine. We were stable enough to have a relationship again. But then the carnival happened, and I was too shy to stand next to you because you always act hard in front of your friends so I could never be clingy. You never let me hold your hand in public or even hug you without you stepping away or giving me a look.
I never really understood you. Were you only using me for my body, so you had someone to call yours and no one else can have me? Was I your fucking property? I swear to god that you only got back with me because you wanted someone to love you. Someone who was so vulnerable to be with you. You treated me like shit. All you wanted was sex and I didn’t give that to you. You always got mad. You never respected that about me. So I guess that’s where you gave up.
I shouldn’t have given you those chances. After how you treated me? Wow, I’m so stupid. I really don’t get why I’m getting so worked up over you. I shouldn’t be sad about getting dumped by you. I should be grateful that you finally ended it for good. But I’m blaming myself for this. For some reason, I can’t bare to lose you. I keep questioning why it’s so hard for me to forget about you.